Straight From Rojae's Desk

March 10, 2011

Stop whining and take charge of your own life [Courtesy of CHICO AND DELAMAR]

Filed under: Thoughtful Thots — Adventurous AdventuRoj @ 9:39 am

May 25, 2010, 3:29pm

 

DEAR CHICO AND DELAMAR…

 

I am a Nursing student who just graduated with honors. When I was applying for college, I was thinking of taking up what my parents considered as a “dead-end course.”

When I enrolled, the chance of getting a nursing job was still high. But now that I am preparing for the board exams this July, my classmates and I can’t help but think about what will happen to us. Many of our school’s previous topnotchers are still unemployed until now and we are very pessimistic about our future.

Many of my classmates are exactly like me, teenagers who had their parents pick Nursing for them. Most of us feel angry at our parents since we feel that they did not just deprive us of our happiness, but also of employment. Many of us cringe at the possibility of being unemployed or that we will be waiting in the very long list of unpaid (sometimes even paying) nurse-trainees in the hospitals for a few months then become unemployed again. Many of us will probably end up as call center agents. Of course, many of us also feel bad about not fighting to the death to study the course that we really wanted. I don’t know how I could live with myself for having a hand in my own destruction. Help! – Lady

 

CHICO SAYS…

If there’s anything I learned in college and eventually the workplace, is that there is NO WAY anyone can predict who will do well and who won’t in the fickle winds of career.

Some people who, on paper, should succeed beyond expectations, fail miserably.

Some losers who were prognosticated to wallow in lifelong mediocrity have hit it big, against all possible odds. And of course there are the many who lived up to expectations either way, good or bad.

All I’m saying is, it’s not what you study in school (or which school for that matter) that would determine a person’s success or failure. There are just way too many factors involved in the mix that eventually guide each and everyone to our individual destinies. There is no such guarantee in terms of course taken that would ensure a bountiful future, or a poverty-stricken one for that matter. There are rich doctors and poor doctors, rich artists and poor artists, rich politicians and…oh well, two out of three will drive home the point.

All I’m saying is, it isn’t the course you take in college that will determine your destiny. Don’t blame your parents for something that is in your own hands.

If you feel strongly about it, there’s still time to shift. I started from English, then Journalism, before I ended up in Broadcasting. And it’s worth mentioning that most of the radio greats didn’t even graduate from Communication! And even if you do shift to the course of your choice, it still is no guarantee for success. The best argument for it, is at least you’re following your passion. But whether you take the course you really want or the course your parents pressured you to take, it will be by your own hand that you will steer your future to either success or failure.

I remember sticking to being a DJ even if everyone was telling me that it was a dead-end job. I was earning 800 pesos a month for six months! But because I enjoyed it, I stuck with it for as long as I could. Whichever course you do eventually choose, the road will bring you to the same point nevertheless: it’s not what you got, it’s how you use it.

Although I strongly disagree with parents pressuring their children to take courses against their will, I also believe that you reach a point where you just have to stop blaming them and start taking charge of what’s left of your future. You can only whine for so long about how you were powerless

against their wishes in the past.

Now is a different matter and maybe it’s time to start taking charge of your own life. Parents only want what’s best for their children. If you show them just how passionate you are about what you really want to do, maybe they’ll eventually relent and let you pursue that which will give you personal and professional satisfaction, even if it may or may not entail generous remuneration.

In the end, your heart will pull you into doing what you really want to do with your life, as opposed to what pays copious amounts of money. It’s a long and sometimes painful process, but trust me, you’ll get there. We all do.

 

DELAMAR SAYS…

 

First of all, don’t sabotage yourself by saying you have a hand in your own destruction. That’s too melodramatic a statement to make in this situation. You’re just at the crossroads of your life and being there is one of the hardest places to be in one’s lifetime. There’s a lot of uncertainty there.

Every new graduate feels exactly what you are feeling. You don’t know where to go, what will happen and if you’ll be able to achieve the success you’ve always hoped for. It’s just that Nursing students always had a guarantee of sorts that they will be in demand by the time they graduate and eventually pass the board exams. And now that that guarantee has failed, you are expectedly upset and scared.

Take responsibility for your decisions in life. Yes, your parents might have pushed you down the nursing path. But they didn’t put a gun to your head to take that course. You DECIDED to follow their recommendation.

You are not a victim here. Think about it, would your parents deliberately sabotage your life by making you take up nursing? No. As a matter of fact, the very reason they thought it might benefit you is precisely because at the time, there really was a high demand for nurses all around the world.

So blaming your parents totally for this situation is NOT fair and you avoid taking responsibility for your decision. I think you are just scared at the scarcity of prospective jobs so you are jumping into blaming your parents because it is easier. However, the first step to being a grown up is taking responsibility for all the decisions we make and living with their consequences.

So accept your part in this scenario. Doing so will make you more eager to make better decisions for yourself next time.

So, what to do? Well, for starters, take away the negativity. This is an energy that will make things worse rather than better. Remember, you are taking the board exams in July. That is your priority. Don’t focus too much on getting a job right now, focus more on passing and maybe placing in the Nursing board exams.

The next steps you will just have to take when you’re there. Cross the bridge when you get there. What is the alternative anyway at this point? Drop everything just because it’s hard to find a job? That will just all the more lessen your chances of getting a good job. Right?

You’re at this point in your life because of decisions you made. And sometimes in life, we will make mistakes but it is up to us to handle life’s unexpected twists and turns. Life is never all planned out. Most of the time we wing things because unexpected things arise that we need to deal with or overcome.

The uncertainty of life IS part of what makes life difficult, unpredictable and well, truthfully, fun! You have to respond to the challenges of life at every turn. There is no other way. Giving up is not an option.

So take the exam. Give it your best shot. Then go and think of the ways to get into the medical field. You’re not even out there yet and you’ve already given up. Yes, you’ve heard stories from past graduates but that’s their experience. It is up to you now to make your own way into the world. And you have to be resourceful and really have the hunger to find your spot in the medical field.

When you realize that just getting your parents to send you to school is already a blessing just because others don’t even have that, then you will become grateful and not angry at them.

In the US, teenagers send themselves to university.

Their parents don’t even pay for their college education but yours did. Isn’t that a good thing? Just because there is at this moment scarcity of jobs doesn’t mean they were wrong. At the time the decision was made, it was the RIGHT decision because you agreed. Right now though, the situation has changed. And now, you will have to respond to this challenge the way other people before us have done it — FIND A WAY. Strive. Struggle. Make do with what you got in front of you. Persist. Forge on. Don’t throw in the towel even before the real fight starts.

Lose the sense of entitlement and lose the expectation that life is going to be easy. It won’t. The most you can hold on to is, you have the freedom to decide where your life goes at this point: HOPE or DESPAIR. Please choose hope. It will lead you to better things.

(Chico and Delle welcome your letters. Write to: youth@mb.com.ph or fax through 527-7511. Listen to the Dynamic Duo Monday to Saturday, 6 a.m. to 9 a.m. over Monster Radio RX 93.1)

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1 Comment »

  1. Hi, this is a comment.
    To delete a comment, just log in, and view the posts’ comments, there you will have the option to edit or delete them.

    Comment by Mr WordPress — March 10, 2011 @ 9:39 am


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